Right there, that was the problem.
I’ve known this for a while, like that gut feel you should always trust, but until I read it somewhere else, I couldn’t articulate it.
I just realised that till now I always identified myself, not by who I am, but by what I do for a living.
It’s easier, giving yourself a title. It plays with people’s imagination. Gives them a box to put you in, makes them feel more secure, ‘oh, you’re just a printer, a small business owner, unemployed, therefore you don’t threaten me or my status’.
It’s also a lie. I could expand here on what I consider my real qualities, but let’s just leave it at being a lie, I’ll leave you to work out the rest.
Luckily, or maybe some things by design and hard work I am more than that. I know things, and I’ve experimented with things, and as a person have so many more aspects than just being a printer.
The wind of change and freedom blows through my mind again. This is why I do this stuff, writing pieces, quitting jobs, moving houses, trying new things. To find my real identity.
Because I’m more than my job.